So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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