I'm gonna have a badass scar
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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