I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
