help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
