Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
