perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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