Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
