imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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