You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
