Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
