He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
