return my video game
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
