Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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