508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
