Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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