help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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