I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
