I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Im part way to drunk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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