we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
