guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
