This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
