Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
