I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
