Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Come share oat with me in your robe
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
