I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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