I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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