You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
