I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
