they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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