go do what you do best...puke behind churches
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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