How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
