i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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