We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
