her vagine was all disorganized.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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