So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
