its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
my poor anus
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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