i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
