i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
