the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
