Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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