I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
