I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
