I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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