Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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