Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
