I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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