Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
