I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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