I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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