Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
