Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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